The Wasatch Hash House Harriers presents...
***The HASH TRASH***:
A sheet of rubbish loosely based on fact that probably
isn't fit to wipe your arse with.

Misreported by I've Got Crabs

Saturday, June 12th, 2004: Wasatch Hash #444 in
Layton: Hared by Cocks On The Rocks.

   I think everyone will agree that it was awfully
kind of the chair force to put on an air show for our
Hash.  Trail was not overly long, but the Pack spent
so much time looking up at the pretty planes that it's
amazing we stayed on Trail.  Trail took a quick dip
into housing only to pop right back out into a church
parking lot for the day's first Beer Check.  Several
Wankers said I should take notes on how to *un a Beer
Check and I responded with the appropriate sign
language.  Trail went back into the housing area only
to find a Turtle Check and our second Beer Check less
than a mile away.  The thunder chickens started flying
at this point and it was no surprise that the Pack
missed the next Beer Check.  Well, Penis Fly Trap
found it, but the writing was much closer to her eye
level.  Cell phone Hashing abounded as PFT and
Her-A-Cum 10 tried to lure the Pack back to some tasty
red wine.  Fortunately, the Trail just looped around
into a Turkey/Eagle split and the Eagle Trail HEADed
in the general direction of the missed Check, so we
all decided to make sure that the wine wasn't being
wasted.  By the time we finished the 3rd Check, the
air show was over and we trudged back up the hill to
find Grim Streaker bragging about being the FRB and
the golden nectar nearby.  Circle was quick, but dirty
with some old Okinawan antics added by GOV/VIP and
Leaking Dragon, Hidden Bottle and somehow I was goaded
into singing the Wiggle of Her @ss to Mini-Cooter,
Ball Scooter.  In my defense, even her mom was
participating in encouraging me.  When one Hare
drinks, all RA's, GM's, Military, mommies, and
tattooed @sses drink was the order of the day and we
cleaned out the supplies to HEAD to the On After.  The
damage continued at a house warming/bar stocking party
where Circle was reconvened to bestow a new name and
rename Finnish So Soon, What's Your Name.  Afterwards,
we got the half-minded idea that wrestling would be
fun and in short order, Johnny Cockring was declared
the champ, but damned near everyone who participated
(including JC) was injured.  We certainly looked the
motley crew with PFT, JC, Scott John, myself and Lawn
Job limping away from the back yard.  OK, Lawn Job
wasn't injured or limping...just drunk and stumbling.
But was everybody happy?....You bet your @ss we were!
dadadada dada dada....

*unners in attendance: 20

Virgins: Scott John

Visitors: GOV/VIP and Leaking Dragon, Hidden Bottle
from the Okinawa H3 or the soon to be started
Portland, ME H3

FRB/FBI: Grim Streaker

DFL: Penis Fly Trap

Hashit: Through a clever ploy of leaving it at home,
Electric Hot Carl keeps the Hashit for yet another
week...Jackass!

Finnish So Soon, What's Your Name was long overdue for
a new name...mostly because no one could ever remember
her old one.  I'm not even sure if what's in this Hash
Trash is right, and from what I understand, neither is
she.  Finnish sat long on the ice as the Pack
struggled to CUM up with options to the obvious, but
to no avail.  A story from Unruly Rodent at the Circle
about her anger towards the Whoreman church and
something about her parent's truck and the local
Police had the deal sealed.  For now, and forevermore
at the Wasatch H3, she will be known as Lawn Job.

Then there was the E.O.D. guy.  We racked up at least
a pizza box top and a half of suggestions for this
half mind.  We ranged from his feelings of self
importance, to his sexual preference of small furry
animals, all the way through some pretty creative uses
of explosives in certain body parts.  But he just
continued to sit on the ice with this indifferent
"blow me" look on his face, and that was it.  For now,
and forevermore at the Wasatch H3, he will be known as
Blow Me Up.

Next Hash will be on Monday, June 21st and Hared by
Scrum Slut in some unknown location.

Following Hash will be Saturday, June 26th and Hared
by Unruly Rodent somewhere in SLC (Avenues was
hinted).

Future *uns can be found at
http://my.calendars.net/WasatchH3

If you have nothing better to do for the July 4th
weekend, CUM out and join us in the trek to the
NorCal Hash campout where we will establish a "Temple
Square" and see what we can convince drunk California
Hashers to do in order to earn a Wasatch H3 "Temple
Recommend".

If you have suggestions on how I can make this useless
publication better, let me know.

On On,

Crabs